February 15, 2005
Reflection
Why am I helping him? Why did I tell him?
In answer to the first, I thought about it and I would say that perhaps it is due to a feeling of debt. That mis-guided sense of loyalty I have. The thing that originally binded me to the man known to many as Lord Acerbe so many years ago back in Yarsin. I remember when I first saw him, I recall him asking after someone in the local inn. I had seen the person in question some days prior and advised him of this. And then our second meeting, so different. Me leaping over a fallen couch as I was set upon by a Tyen (it is a long story) with his whore at his side. About to kill me, or likely so. I doubted I could get off what merger spells I had back then in time. I turned quickly about, looking for a familiar face amongst the few people in the Inn and saw him. I pleaded quickly for him to aid me, I offered him anything and everything. And after a pause he agreed. I threw him my dagger (it was useless in my hands) and from that day on until the darkness fell he was never too far away from my side.
And now he is gone, sent away at my bidding. He had disappeared on me a few times before since the Cataclysm. It had gotten too dangerous. I admit I miss him. Though not the taunts that still linger in my head. All of them, the Dryth.. they know and hate me for it. Some are more vocal about it than others. Mocking me with their words, and others showing more physical hostility. I've started taking something, a herb which blocks it. But then it hurts in other ways. I can't do it for much longer.
I've sought some comfort in Taliesin. I think he is pleased that I have cut off contact with him. But I digress, back to Lycenth. I would say that it is because I feel obliged to him for his death at his hands as a result of the chase for the cure. But it is more than that, a sense of loneliness too. That and the fact he does not seem to hate me quite as much as everyone else. At least, until I told him about the other thing.