Welcome to my Mind

I've not heard him watching...but I've seen Zarika, and he could not have been far behind yet he did not show himself to me. He hasn't come for me like he said he wanted to. I'd let myself be....hopeful he would. Foolish, I suppose. When I needed him most he'd wanted to send me away, saying that old time were no more. They are just that..old times.

So why press your lips to mine again? Ye know what it does, I think. Ye want to keep your hold on the chain you've slipped around my neck and do it to choke me back when I test the length of the links. But the emotions which cloud my mind when I need the peace, the emotions ye warned me of, all trace back to ye as ye tell me it can never be, yet it seems possible with every other woman you cross paths with. Ye want to own me and yet not call me your own. Ye weaken me then are angered by my being weak.

No, enough of this. It affects me more now than ever before. Listen to the rain, Nybrylla...

...

Yes, it rains still, but I'm just out of reach of ye, Ylessa, though I see my reflection in ye. It's almost as if I see myself drowning, though the waters are not very deep. Is this what is happening? It's how I feel.

Gods, I'm so confused. Did ye ask Her to do it, Melchior? So that we can remain safe beneath our cloaks when the law demands otherwise? Did ye ask Her to do this to me for some future purpose, or was it Her own doing? Regardless of who, is it a blessing that will come in time, or have I disappointed one of ye?

I've cleared the old, now dead flowers from when I last came here and have brought ones that are fresh. I should have gone to the stream for this, I'm sorry. It is your water no less, but these flowers I picked will not travel in this impluvium as they would to multiple bodies of water. I will offer more. I will go to the very top of the waterfall and let them cascade downward and be carried down the stream.

It helps the harvest, yes. But I've always wondered, Ylessa, if the rain is your tears? The Protector stirred up this thought once more at his suggestion that such frequent and heavy rains started after the royal decree. Are ye sad for us all, Maiden, and the strong gales and lightning your anger with the Vek?

Protect me during this time, Green Maiden...Please. I've felt slower, weaker lately. The Protector lands hits during training he'd never have before, even with two good legs. It worries me, should a time come when I'll need to fight for these lives. I cannot bear another loss like the last.