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June 25, 2005
[OOC] Time
Meh...with work starting July 5th (and my orientation this tuesday) hopefully I'll still have things to blog about given the limited time I'd have to rp when working 9-5 and also taking commuting time and such into consideration. Or hopefully there are some people on when I have the free time too ;) Summer tends to steal the player base away temporarily as usually people go out more and such. Not that I don't enjoy the company of the late night regulars like Ashen, Ozymandias and Allen :) Just hard to try and move some things along without others as well, as I'm sure is the situation with them too. No one's fault though.
O.K. I'll stop rambling now. ;)
Note to self: Fiddle with blog settings to try and find a way to have the few most recent posts show until there's an update rather than there being just a blank if some time has passed.
Posted by Nybrylla at 11:09 PM | Comments (0)
Alone
I don't recall ever feeling so idle..though as of late I've often sought some secluded space for myself.
Tzoli truly hit the nail on the head with her hammer...it's awfully lonely in my mind.
I've had an overwhelming sense of deja vu between my attack and the events that have followed my return: Sijavi's echoings of Narus' earlier lessons and now Bjar seems to echo it as well, disgusted with me.
You turn away, and turn away, and shield yourself with anger. Where will that lead you? There is no happiness in that. There is not even an unhappy future... Only death."
He says he tries to help me, but doing so causes him an agony in even reaching towards me. He'd previously denied that Melchior now means me harm, but that seemed to confirm the opposite.
A distraction He called me. Perhaps that is why Lycenth has been nowhere in site (Narus has not been seen in some time either. Not since the law on the wearing of masks, though I'd not think him afraid to challenge that). Perhaps Bjar told him more things of Sehki, distorted things, that set his blood to boil again.
I've said it before and I'll say it again...It's now the silence in my mind that distresses me rather than the constant voices. To be lonely in the mind is one matter, but to feel it in my soul as well....I almost think I'd enjoy Acerbe's company should he stroll into this cave.
Or perhaps not...I'm uncertain.
I should leave here, I think...wander about as I seem to not be welcomed (at least by certain individuals) in the Temple. I never did find a face to the voice that spoke to me in the dark out in the forest. Though do I really want to? I'd not have the previous warning to their presence that I did then, though the curiousity it causes being that they seemed to know me well....my name, notice changes in my appearance....Might make it worth the risk.
Posted by Nybrylla at 10:49 PM
June 15, 2005
Ever Learning
I'd barely been awake. I'd just sat up and saw his face there, peering in and his narrow eyes blinking slightly at the change of light from the outside.
"It is you I saw, good. I would speak with you if you have a moment."
"Aye, I've time."
He seems uneasy here, as though trespassing and in danger of discovery. Am I trespassing again? I'd thought not. I've been here for a time without his return and I highly doubt that he would have since that encounter. After a then-dryth knew where he hid. Taliesin likely came looking for him here as well. Could he be that bold?
"Are you still looking to find a place to stay?" he asks quietly, his gruff bass voice rumbling throughout the small room.
I explained my reasoning in thinking why this place would do for now, but he was right.
"Trust no doubt, and trust certainty even less."
He puzzled me, to say the least. Why so torn when I was actually worth helping, but after ye see me removed from grace are ye so eager to jump to help now? What is left now, no longer Chosen, that is worth salvaging? He certainly must have realized that's what happened..he was there.
Ahh..As always 'favors' do not come at some sort of a price. Apparently I am very useful, though, if even Sijavi seems to want to use me for some purpose or other, like Narus. What do I plan to do now? Adjust to this new way of life. I've been too busy trying to forget the past to be thinking about the future, Sijavi. Though ye seem to have thought it out for me. Tell...Enlighten me.
And like Narus, he gave me a lesson...
{A weathered, narrow-eyed man raises his hand, as though to forestall her anger. "The will of the Gods is paramount, yes. But here, I will teach a lesson..." he steps forward, to the edge of the rug, to a stone holding the rug down to the dirt and rock floor. With his toe he flips the stone over, and beneath it a wriggling mass of insects scurry away, fleeing their sudden exposure. Reaching down he finds one beetle, shiny and black, picks it up between thumb and index finger and raises it before his eyes, no more than handsbreadth away from his face. "...to this bug." Staring imperiously at it, it's little bug legs kicking futilely in the air. Suddenly his arm snaps back. "Kill Nybrylla, bug!" he shouts, and launches the tiny projectile at the Tiress. Half way there, a sudden stuttering sound erupts from the beetle and it abruptly loops away, flying to the safety of a crevice in the wall. a weathered, narrow-eyed man follows it with his eyes, mock anger in his face. "You cannot do this one little thing? You are worthless bug! You are nothing!" he shouts.
He falls silent. Looking down he flips the overturned rock back into it's original position. He remains looking down at the rock for a few moments, then raises his steely-eyed gaze back to Nybrylla. "Even if you fail the will of giants in your life, you still have the ability to fly higher than any else of your stature." a weathered, narrow-eyed man turns then, and walks toward the entrance flap.}
And like Narus, another lesson was repeated...
"You aren't this weak, Nybrylla. Revenge? Spite? These are petty things, creations of the frustration you feel in your breast. Do you think these driving forces will sustain you? They will destroy you, Nybrylla, and everything you hold dear."
OOC Note: Regents rocks my socks so hard that I had to include some of his emotes word for word so all (who don't already) will know how much he reeks of awesomeness.
Posted by Nybrylla at 03:28 PM | Comments (0)
June 13, 2005
[OOC] Stupid log....
*Leaves a blank space here for a critical entry that will be added in at a later time as currently the log refuses to open and a solution must be found*
Posted by Nybrylla at 03:09 PM | Comments (0)
June 10, 2005
Exposed
I doubt he wishes to truly think on this. He said he'd meet me here to speak with me more on it, but he never came. I grew restless...ventured to the outpost hoping he'd be home. I didn't care how agressively I seemed to pursue it.
It was by chance that we crossed paths. But when has it not been byt chance? I found no black dye in the outpost and walked back towards the city with the Protector, as surely a clothier's would have some. My hair has not been in its natural color for so long it looks foreign to me now. Not my own.
Even when I found him he seemed to have wanted to rush past me..Avoid me. Having revealed who I am to him, did he merely not dare to outwardly refuse?
Perhaps...But he came with me anyway. As did Bjar when he came across us as well. I was so concerned with speaking with Sijavi I'd forgotten that I was to meet Bjar in the garden.
Sijavi had questions for me, which made me uneasy, but I expected as much.
He'd wanted to see if there were anything worth salvaging in me. I knew I was being tested.
Now that I think upon all that I told him, I wonder why I did not merely refuse, say I will find someone else who will not make me jump through as many hoops. Bjar offered. I likely should have taken his, even if just to ease his mind. He tries still to take responsibility for what happened.
So abrupty, Sijavi, asked. But I told...and told...and told. I didn't even realize I knew so much until it poured from my mouth. Yet I know it is still so little compared to all there is to know. Bjar seemed as anxious as I as I continued to tell, but I trusted Sijavi. For all the times we've crossed paths I believe he has been placed there to aid, and Melchior did not urge me to hold my tongue.
At the very least I tried to inform him of what truly goes on. I felt it was my fault he doesn't understand, as I am a poor example. He knows of the ancient war, but not of the sides in detail. The siding of the crown leaves him to believe that it is with reason despite the actions of the Vek. We do not reveal ourselves with good reason, but I labeled myself for him and he likely cannot see. Likely doesn't know what to make of me because I am both chosen of Melchior, and wanted assassin. He likely takes me to represent the whole.
I was left uneasy, however. As despite all that I told him, it was not what he was searching for.
What is more important to you: Defeating the Vek? Or defeating the Darkness?"
"I could easily say the Darkness because I know it is what is important to ye...I gathered it from your mind. But I won't. ..."
"I wouldn't have believed you anyway."
Posted by Nybrylla at 08:42 PM | Comments (0)
[OOC] Phew..
Lots of entries today. Two down, and two to go. After some time of not being able to RP while my grandfather was in from Puerto Rico, and also for IC reasons I've been really producted. RPing 6-7 hours straight. 0.o I'm usually not one for logs, but I've had to over the last few days. /A lot/ of stuff has happened, and being that I've been RPing until my brain is burned out and can't think of anymore emotes, I've not had time to blog about them after they happen. Did the first one today before going into any RP, and the second after 7 hours of really good RP. Third one coming up now as I wait on some friends, and the fourth will come likely tomorrow at some point, unless I get too caught up in the organized RP we'll be having...then It'll be two more on Sunday. heheh.
It feels good to be so enthused about RP, blogging, etc. And it's not been a bad day overall. I got called back for the paid internship I applied for with the NY Post's Marketing and Promotions department and will be reporting to orientation July 5th. Also got back that final pesky grade that was missing for the Spring semester, giving me a total of four A's, one A-, a GPA of 3.94 for the semester, and a 3.85 cumulative GPA for the two years I've completed. Yay!
Posted by Nybrylla at 08:28 PM | Comments (2)
A Bit of Clarity
Rain as always...Lightning streaks the sky now, though a bit faint in the day. Why does it feel especially familiar, though?
I watch more intently...
Think, Nybrylla...
No, not here...The lightning seems to spark something within my mind.
There were a pair of feet in the corner of my view. Not mine, an additional pair. I was indoors..that was a fire crackling, making my shadow dance before me. There was lightning inside.
The more I try to recall the fuzzier it becomes. The Outpost? The Dragon's Head Inn?
Try the latter first...I'm closer. Walking is rough upon bare feet.
Wait..It's sharper now. Blood is seen splattered on the floor, and a clawed hand comes out...Mine. Fingers lightly touching upon the floor for balance after the flash of lighting. Yes, yes...Here. Something here excites the mind.
The only one I know...
Claw...Vek?
Him. Seemingly in the time it took me to blink he stood directly before me, and as my gaze shifted downward a single claw slashed quickly, deeply across my belly. My pregnant belly. The Hound...
Damnit. Something here. But Bjar is right...best go somewhere else for now, especially wandering about the city like this by day. I'll know soon enough. He will tell me what he saw.
Posted by Nybrylla at 01:49 PM | Comments (0)
All a Blur
I smelled wet grass..And apparently it was a sneeze that awakened me. I suddenly became aware at that very same moment that my body felt prickly...as if a swarm of tailors were around me and poking me with their pins and sewing needles. The same pricking seemed to be in my mind as well, though I saw it there rather than felt (Thankfully). Dozens of tiny spots floating before my eyes, going through a variety of colors as they danced.
My vision cleared before the feeling left my body, but I brought myself to my feet.
Blood covers me with no wounds...Scars gone, save for my stomach...and I'm naked....Great.
My hands roamed over my naked flesh for a time, though the first things noticed were that my tattoo remains, and the waves of hair attempting to cover my breasts with their length is blonde. I felt the rough scar on my abdomen, and similarly upon the left side of my face, though far more uneven here. Even bumps in the texture..moreso i some areas than others, not the entire side.
Well bloody standing here feeling myself up will do no good...
I knew I was at the Temple, yet I felt disoriented still. Has it been that long since I've been here that I've forgotten my way?
I thought to leave. To go directly out and into the city, but instead I remained there. People return so often that it seems a nude figure is payed no mind there. I walked through a long stretch of guards rooms, the guards themselves within them, but I heard nothing from them. If they did watch, I did not sense it.
I climbed the stairs and entered the library. The Librarian was there, of course. When is he not? Though something was strange..he nearly seemed faint, and was caught in the arms of a lanky, slender woman, both taking sight of me just then. The Librarian averted his eyes quickly...Not all are so comfortable around the nude form. I turned to leave, but it only set the woman into quick animation, practically ripping the robe the librarian (was it 'Relik', Sijavi called him?) wore from him and urging me to take it.
I'd not washed somewhere, and insisted it would only be bloodied, but accepted. It shall be washed and returned when I find suitable clothing.
How light my hand feels without the steel upon it...
Sijavi entered as I moved to accept it. His eyes I could feel, even for a while after wrapping myself within the robe, though his attentions then turned to his companion. I merely remained where I stood, focused once more upon the sensation, now a tingling on my skin though my eyes remained on Sijavi. Watching him brought back a flash of images and memories, and they seemed to leave my mouth before I even realized, as if they'd go lost did I not share them.
I told him that I'd sought him, to place a house under his name though it would be mine, and the Protector's. No questions just then...he said he'd consider it, speak with me the following day, and that I should go get cleaned up. But I lingered still.
Perhaps I lacked control of my own body and mind yet after being in the hands of Morhiag, butI don't know why I told him what I did..Why I revealed myself.
Posted by Nybrylla at 10:52 AM | Comments (0)
June 01, 2005
My Own Reflection
I don't know if it's truly me or my condition speaking but I miss him, and I hate him for it all at once. But I needed to come here, I needed this time to myself even if it will make the Protector angry, perhaps thinking I've gone to him. My mind is quieter here for some reason and for that I am ever thankful.
I've not heard him watching...but I've seen Zarika, and he could not have been far behind yet he did not show himself to me. He hasn't come for me like he said he wanted to. I'd let myself be....hopeful he would. Foolish, I suppose. When I needed him most he'd wanted to send me away, saying that old time were no more. They are just that..old times.
So why press your lips to mine again? Ye know what it does, I think. Ye want to keep your hold on the chain you've slipped around my neck and do it to choke me back when I test the length of the links. But the emotions which cloud my mind when I need the peace, the emotions ye warned me of, all trace back to ye as ye tell me it can never be, yet it seems possible with every other woman you cross paths with. Ye want to own me and yet not call me your own. Ye weaken me then are angered by my being weak.
No, enough of this. It affects me more now than ever before. Listen to the rain, Nybrylla...
...
Yes, it rains still, but I'm just out of reach of ye, Ylessa, though I see my reflection in ye. It's almost as if I see myself drowning, though the waters are not very deep. Is this what is happening? It's how I feel.
Gods, I'm so confused. Did ye ask Her to do it, Melchior? So that we can remain safe beneath our cloaks when the law demands otherwise? Did ye ask Her to do this to me for some future purpose, or was it Her own doing? Regardless of who, is it a blessing that will come in time, or have I disappointed one of ye?
I've cleared the old, now dead flowers from when I last came here and have brought ones that are fresh. I should have gone to the stream for this, I'm sorry. It is your water no less, but these flowers I picked will not travel in this impluvium as they would to multiple bodies of water. I will offer more. I will go to the very top of the waterfall and let them cascade downward and be carried down the stream.
It helps the harvest, yes. But I've always wondered, Ylessa, if the rain is your tears? The Protector stirred up this thought once more at his suggestion that such frequent and heavy rains started after the royal decree. Are ye sad for us all, Maiden, and the strong gales and lightning your anger with the Vek?
Protect me during this time, Green Maiden...Please. I've felt slower, weaker lately. The Protector lands hits during training he'd never have before, even with two good legs. It worries me, should a time come when I'll need to fight for these lives. I cannot bear another loss like the last.
Posted by Nybrylla at 02:16 PM | Comments (0)