Welcome to my Mind

Egledwar...I would have refused. I would rather die in the streets if I had known what my life would become. But would I still have had my Gabriel? I doubt I would have fallen into the hands of my Narus and the Nine..

"You're a looker even all dirtied up...Clean you off and you'll make enough money in a single night to feed the two of us heartily for a month..But that don't mean 'e won't have a full time occupation..Working you the week could have us enough gold to live as if we was rightly working.."

He laughed..sounding as if he were choking in the same moment, looking at me with that horrid grin of rotting teeth, rubbing his stubbled chin.

The bed I shared with him looked as if it were barely being held together, the cot's frame sinking in at its center. How I was able to sleep with his heavy, wheezing breaths so close to my elongated ears I do not know. Nor do I know how I was spared from him desiring my services whenever and as often as he liked as further gratitude for removing me from the streets, but I am ever gracious..

Egledwar's bed was not the only one I was in. He spread word in taverns and Inns that he had himself "An exotic-lookin' beaut'. Milky-white skin, like a Queen of Snow, and quite the set of eyes, even if they don't match, standing out all the more with that dark, silky hair. Don't look like the usual pointy-ears..A mouth alone worth dyin' for, and has the breasts 'n' the back end 'e think you'd only dream of seein' on a woman." With his advertisements, more often than not, I was in the bedchambers of at least 3 men a day, and surprisingly, many of them were of noble standings.

Some nights I returned to Egledwar's small lodging, others in the morning if I had fallen into a state of sleep in the last bed of the night. I loved the large, soft beds of the nobles. I imagined falling asleep there is what it must feel like to lay on a cloud. I was not privileged enough to remain in the beds of all of them however, as there were those that rushed me out suspecting that their spouse would soon return. No matter when I returned to Egledwar, the pouch of gold needed to be handed over upon entering the door. He would take care of buying all the foods and keeping me as well-dressed as possible, to further draw the eyes of aristocrats.

I could bring in hundreds of gold coins from a single man in one night, depending on his status, but often Egledwar believed I should demand more of them as it were a privilege to have me rather than some other woman of the street. If he were not pleased I was grabbed by the arm and forcefully thrown into the filthy corner of the bedroom being kicked and slapped as he screamed slurred words with his face directly in front of mine, his greasy nose almost pressed against my face. It never last very long, however..he would not risk ruining his source of income.

One night, an arrangement did not go as originally planned...I found myself in the room of a young, wealthy man named Gabriel. He sat upon the bed, his legs bent and curled inward towards him as he was propped up on his arms, seemingly terrified. He looked as if he belonged there no more than I felt that I did, or in the room of any other. If he stood he looked as if he would tower over me, his hair a mane of golden curls. Crystal blue eyes shone from beneath a few curls that had fallen in front of his face, sparkling like precious jewels. I could not believe that I would be called for such a man as he, however, I was not asked to believe this. It was not he, but a small group of his friends who had called upon Egledwar, to get their friend a "gift" of coming of age. They told him they had seen me walking the streets, and heard some whispers of the townspeople about my "trade."

Tears still stained my face from one of Egledwar's fits, demanding that I get as much gold as possible from this lad. We remained locked in each other's gaze only briefly before I fell to my knees, sobbing. His eyes widened, the terror in his face deepening. He seemed not to know what else to do and slowly approached me, sliding from his spot on the bed and gathered me in his arms. I don't know why but the words came pouring from my mouth as I cried, revealing to him all that I had experienced up until that very moment since Egledwar happened upon me. He pitied me greatly, giving me the gold promised by his friends and reluctantly sending me back to Egledwar.

From that encounter on he requested my company, often having various friends calling upon Egledwar, so he would not suspect anything, and also sending various people at various times so that I would see no one but him each day. Some nights I remained with him, others I was sent back to Egledwar, always with a hefty sum of gold. During that time, we merely enjoyed the company of one another. A very special bond began weaving between us. Needless to say, it was not long before we were completely engulfed by love for one another. He began to shower me with small gifts. Small enough for me to be able to hide from Egledwar, though he delighted in seeing them upon me when it came time for us to meet again. I had no gold to call my own and show my gratitude through a trinket as well but I gave him my heart, as well as my material self...And he was the first to receive it completely willingly.

His guardians were quite fond of me as well. They did not believe the talk among the town, dismissing it completely as if it were slander grounded in jealousy. I suppose they came about to this conclusion not believing a man of such high standings as Gabriel would even share the same air as the woman that whispers said me to be, in addition to the mannerisms and charm I still possessed before coming to this city.

However, one night, a simple mistake led to my path being changed. I put on a beautiful platinum necklace with a large onyx stone prematurely, and Egledwar noticed it upon my neck. It shone brightly when I stood near the fire as he spoke to me before I departed, despite being mostly concealed by my clothing. Without my knowledge, he followed me the next day, growing suspicious that I was pocketing gold. That night he remained crouched beneath the window in Gabriel's room. He must have remained there for quite some time, not sensing foul play as there was nothing to be heard indicating otherwise--the sounds of passion would have been no different in any other bedchamber, though in the past they were mostly a dramatic display.

Once it had quieted he peered into the room, seeing Gabriel and myself in the arms of one another quite obviously in a very affectionate. Gabriel reached around to his back, taking my left hand from it to bring to his chest. As he did so, he reached with his free hand into a drawer of his night table, retrieving and placing a magnificent goldren ring upon my finger. He fell lazily back down upon me, though he smiled sweetly murmuring his request for me to be his beloved. I was at a loss for words, though my response need not be made verbal as my hand came up beneath his golden curls, disheveled with sweat, kissing his brow gently through a smile of my own.

But our moment meant to be celebrated did not last long. Despite still receiving his gold, Egledwar was infuriated that I was not carrying out my "duties." He slipped his hands beneath the cracked window, throwing it open and jumping into the room. He pulled his dagger from his hip as he approaching with loud, menacing steps, and his blade came down into Gabriel's back before he could turn around to see his attacker. I remained beneath Gabriel, screaming as tears flowed from my eyes and his blood came upon on me. Again and again Egledwar's blade came down, until Gabriel moved no more, and his once beautiful blue eyes stared at me, lifeless, as his head remained upon my chest, blood trickling from his mouth. I held his face in my hands still screaming, screaming his name through my tears but I was ripped from him. Egledwar grabbed onto my arm, and dragged me from the bed, across the floor and into the street, completely naked. Scrapes and cuts were received along the way, and he worsened my injuries, kicking me, punching me, and slamming me against the wall. I fell upon the floor on my back, and his blade came down into my slightly swollen abdomen. The child was killed, but I survived.

I know not whether it was by chance or my screams had been heard, but another man came quickly into the alley from the adjacent street, seemingly in response to the scene. I felt Egledwar pulled from me, though I could not make out the other figure. I heard a blade puncturing flesh, but did not know whose flesh was being torn by whose blade. But I then saw, against Morhiag's bloodied moon, Egledwar's neck arching back as his head was pulled by the hair, and a glistening blade already saturated in blood drawn quickly along his throat, his body then falling in a lifeless heap not far from me. I knew not whether I should attempt to flee, but before I could even contemplate, a heavy cloak was dropped over me, and I was lifted from the ground like a wrapped parcel. He said nothing to me, and I could do nothing more than to whimper quietly with my head against his shoulder as I was carried, too weak for anything more.

With the loss of blood I must have lost consciousness briefly, awakening as I felt myself being submerged in a pool of warm water. I do not know not what path was taken to the baths that went unnoticed by any guards or citizens, nor why I felt I shouldn't fear him. He had waded into the water, still holding me, placing one of my arms about his neck, indicating that I should try to hold some of my own weight. I yelped, wincing as one of his fingers came over the wound on my abdomen, and had to bite down on my lip to refrain from screaming as he pressed downward on it, seemingly probing to test the extent of the damage. He waded further, still remaining silent, until we were both near being fully submerged, his free hand gently passing over my wounds to wash them. They burned as if fire was being pressed to them, but I did not protest. Despite my state i could now help thing how strange it was..feeling a man's hand upon me with intentions other than sexual. Blood flowed into the water like a crimson smoke cloud.

I have no recollection of what happened in the following hours. I awoke in an unfamiliar room, upon an unfamiliar bed, covered by a single white sheet. As I slowly sat up, I came to see no one else present. The wound on my abdomen had been stitched with care, and clothes were neatly laid out on the edge of the bed. A plain, yet elegant black bodice, and floor-length skirt, similar to those I now wear, which have practically become a uniform. I dressed, though remained there throughout the day. I did not know where to go, nor did I have anywhere to go. At some point in the night, the sound of approaching boots was heard, and the door was soon opened from the other side. That was the first time I came to see the man to whom I owed my life, and would soon after become my Narus.

I died that night, and will never be brought back to life...in place, Nybrylla now lives...