March 10, 2007
What a strange trip its been
The flight was odd. The airbus to Florida had some new canned system of announcements, to alleviate the harried cabin crew.
Very new - certainly to the steward running it. First the announcement was in german, in no uncertain terms directing all to fasten the seatbelts for turbulence. Then French, which I think everyone ignored on the basis that the french voice would just overlook anyone who did not comply, or capitulate if challenged. Then a very correct englishman asked nicely if we wouldn't mind putting on the belts. Please. Thank you kindly. Don't make me put the German back on.
Miami, during spring break. I should have known better.
It appears the hotel has been converted into a frat house. It sounded like a night club downstairs in the bar, and the adjoining rooms were not much better.
Having to step over a comatose drunken lad to get into my room didn't do much to improve the image presented.
Nor, this morning, was finding the used condom where the kid was.
Either he got lucky, or very, very unlucky.
Strolling out, the first thing I'm confronted with is a tanning salon. In South Beach. Miami. Tanning Salon. People are nuts.
During the day, it's quite a charming area, though.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 01:21 PM
February 21, 2007
Tracklistings...
A few people asked about the tracks I played on Webkittyn's Wednesday show.
Here they are.
| Girls & Boys | Blur |
| Girls Like That (Don't Go For Guys Like Us) | Custard |
| Filthy/Gorgeous | Scissor Sisters |
| Home | Skunkhour |
| Superstylin' | Groove Armada |
| Dust Me Selecta | Gerling |
| Coma | Max Sharam |
| Cantaloop | Us3 |
| Queer | Garbage |
| 6 Underground | Sneaker Pimps |
| Addicted To Bass | Puretone |
| Confide In Me | Kylie Minogue |
| Do You Love Me? | Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds |
| Diavolo In Me - A Devil In Me with Solomon Burke | Zucchero |
| New Shoes | Paolo Nutini |
| Longview | Green Day |
| You're Just Too Hip Baby | Dave Graney |
| I Lay Down with John Lee Hooker | Zucchero |
| Which way home | Bernard Fanning |
| Time Bomb | Nick Barker |
| The Honeymoon Is Over | The Cruel Sea |
| Shake | Zucchero |
| Loser | Beck |
| Trout | Neneh Cherry |
| Feed The Tree | Belly |
| Wild America | Iggy Pop |
| Jessie | Paw |
| You Shit Me To Tears | Tenants |
| Mutha Fukka On A Motor Cycle | Machine Gun Fellatio |
| No Aphrodisiac | The Whitlams |
| Stone Me Into The Groove | Atomic Swing |
| Amazing | Alex Lloyd |
| Love is Everywhere | The Whitlams |
| Weir | Killing Heidi |
| Laid | James |
| Cigarettes Will Kill You | Ben Lee |
| Buy Now Pay Later | The Whitlams |
| Leaving Home | Jebediah |
| Pick You Up | Powderfinger |
| Steal My Kisses | Ben Harper |
| Unsent Letter | Machine Gun Fellatio |
| Jenny Don't Be Hasty | Paolo Nutini |
| Wish You Well | Bernard Fanning |
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 11:56 PM
December 23, 2006
Poop-Off is liquid miracles
I have, in my house, wooden flooring, with the exception of a cream colored carpet square in the lounge room.
I also have a dog.
With unerring aim, when she is feeling unwell - and she is unwell everytime it rains heavily (projectile diarrhea and vomit) - she will find the carpet.
Under advisement from the carpet cleaning company, I didn't try cleaning it myself, and simply scraped the worst out myself, and waited for them to come clean it. Apparently whatever I, the non-professional, clean it with would have locked the stains in, never to be removed.
They set anyway. Even after two steam cleans, there was a very noticable darker stain on the rug. Being a cheap bastard, I don't really want to buy a new rug. I tried several brand-name cleaners, and not one helped.
Yesterday, I found something called Poop-off, and thinking the name was perfect, I gave it a try.
My god.
The stain has utterly vanished (it works on urine stains as well). With one application and very little effort.
If you have a pet that has a penchant for staining things, get some.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 04:24 PM
December 20, 2006
Not so Secret Santa
My Secret Santa gift arrived.
Some of the favourite memories of Christmas morning are of the family gathering together and the extracting and unwrapping of small, wrapped gifts from the stockings. They were knick-knacks, inexpensive little things, but definitely fun. Often odd.
Malfouka sent me a box of little, wrapped gifts. It made me smile just opening the box (and a quite astonishing card). And so I started, slowly, opening one after the other, and enjoying every moment, wondering, after having seen a myriad of flying dildos, buttplugs and vibrators on the card, what they were to be.
Allow me to present a list:
Travel Pack of wet ones (always useful)
Mini Travel Uno (card game, to while away the hours)
Travel version of Mad Libs (not sure how to play it, but it looks interesting)
Hand warmers (with winter coming upon is, this is something truly appreciated)
Flavoured dipping sherbet and candy dipper (I remember these. I loved these)
Strawberry Shortcake temporary tattoos (Not the peculiar purple pieman)
Cake Decorations (though I tend to snack on them instead, sugary little things they are)
Six little boxes of bugs
Dried bugs.
Flavoured dried bugs.
Three boxes of worms, variously in BBQ, Cheddar Cheese and Mexican Spice.
And three boxes of crickets (the other green meat), in Bacon and Cheese, Salt 'n' Vinegar and Sour Cream and Onion flavours.
(Click to enlarge)
I can't decide if the bacon and cheese ones or the salt'n'vinegar ones taste best. (These treats are made by HotLix, who even have scorpions in candy and chocolate coated crickets)
Thank you, Malfouka!
I'll try get you a can of witchety grubs when I get back to Australia (they taste like runny eggs raw, nutty and creamy when roasted).
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:52 PM
November 06, 2006
Lies, damned lies and statistics.
Recently, I've been checking out parts for a hypothetical new PC. The variable parts at the moment are CPU, graphics card, power supply and motherboard.
Which means I've settled on a case.
Checking out potential sound cards and I came across something that gave me pause. I like Creative Labs products. I've been buying them since the first Sound Blaster came out a very, very long time ago. But this is utterly ridiculous.
They have an X-Fi device that promises:
Imagine being in the studio as your favorite artist records a new album. The sound is real and live the way it was meant to be heard. When the album gets mass-produced on CD, it is being converted to 16-bit CD quality. And the sound quality of that original performance suffers. When you compress the songs into MP3, you'll notice an even greater loss of sound quality. Your favorite album now sounds flat and lifeless.
Flat and lifeless? Ok. MP3s are not as good as CDs are not as good as live. Gotcha.
But... You're analyzing and breaking out signals "intelligently", converting a stereo sound to a synthetic surround. Thats fine. Its actually quite interesting. But you're never going to get back to a pristine signal.
Which is why I had to laugh at their graph.
Letting alone the fact that, somehow, they have quantified the listening 'experience' (how?), playing a CD through X-Fi will be a better experience than sitting in a Studio?
Even more wizardry - playing an MP3 will give the same level of experience as the CD.
I'm sorry. CD is digital. By definition, the clipping levels and sampling rates are dropping information.
MP3s toss even more information when compressing. Very cunningly, so you don't really notice a degradation, but still tossing bits in the quest for 10:1 compression.
And you can restore them to better-than-live fidelity by intelligently guessing the bits that were dropped? Right. So you're saying I'd get a better MP3 by playing the CD on the stereo via an X-Fi and sampling the output?
I'll trust that its a clever signal enhancer. But better than live? Not buying it.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 09:58 PM
October 13, 2006
Warning labels.
Somedays, you read them and it brightens your whole day. Found on a can of compressed air (keyboard duster):
WARNING: DO NOT DELIBERATELY CONCENTRATE AND/OR INHALE THIS PRODUCT. YOU COULD INSTANTLY DIE, SUFFER BRAIN DAMAGE OR OTHER DANGEROUS AND PERMANENT HEALTH EFFECTS. TO PREVENT ACCIDENTAL OR INTENTIONAL MISUSE OR ABUSE, KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN AND TEENS.
Because you just know the little ones will cause their own instant death by accident and the teens will do it on purpose.
It goes on to mention 'Vapours may ignite explosively'.
I love this stuff.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:01 PM
October 02, 2006
Breast cancer awareness - Pink for October
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 11:21 AM
September 18, 2006
Assisi
Arrived at the same time as an enormous international, interfaith (Catholic to Shinto to Protestant to Muslim and more) meeting was held to further world peace. This is widely, cynically, and quite likely truthfully suspected to be more for the food, wine and scenery than the religious history of the town. The buildings have been rigged with temporary loudspeakers, with cables slung across streets, so all can enjoy the pontifications. Sitting in Francesca's shop, we find Pipo. is not one of these, and, to his utter digust, has had a loudspeaker rigged below his bedroom window. He interjects often with "Imbecile!". The Teutonic bishop is lecturing in Italian, and I somewhat ashamedly, keep expecting the word 'Wehrmacht' to creep in. Something about a german speaking italian. Aparently he was saying "For world peace, all we need to do is get rid of 'granatina'". We think he meant grenades (grenate), as a granatina is one of those slushy ice drinks. We think he also wanted to abolish "missiles", but pronounced it in such a way as to actually want to ban "monthly magazines" - specifically those sold in brown paper bags in dingy shops where no one wants to make eye contact. The Church of England representative simply had a voice that made Steven Wright sound enthused. Followed by two hours of dirgeful music in minor keys.
One thing of note is that certain people can get away with many things ordinary mortals cannot. This exclusive group includes the priests, monks, nuns and beautiful women.
(Pedestrian crossings are there for solely decorative reasons. Do not expect anyone with any sort of motorized transport to stop)
Many things, however, does not mean all things. Two days later we learn one priest was arrested for having eight kilograms of cocaine and pitiful excuses - "It's not mine, someone asked me to carry this package for them" and "I'm an unsure priest!". We had always assumed an unsure priest was one that couldn't decide between nuns or alter boys. The day after that, a sure priest was arrested for kiddie diddling.
The food is excellent. There are a few notable differences between America and Italy in with regards to restaurants. There is no tipping. You can trust the waiter to recommend an excellent wine (often the house wine - more on that later) and a supurb dish. The one he recommends will be one of the best on the menu and not simply food with the highest margin or that needs to be shifted.
A meal at "Antonello's" restaurant brings out some more interesting local facts. The father of St Francis, being a trader of spices, brough many herbs from the orient here centuries ago. Curries, surprisingly, are not new here. They are delicious. As with every other place, the house wine is not simply the cheapest lot the wholesaler has, but a wine produced this year. They are wines for drinking young and are excellent. There is no need for an extensive wine list. In fact, the wine, cured meats and olive oil are all from his farm.
Mild torment of religious figures is somewhat of a pass-time here. One particularly corpulent monk entered, asking if the restaurant would, perhaps, if they were so kind, telephone taxi service for fifty important ecclesiastical persons needing transport later this evening. This was greeted with mild disbelief, though the phone book was produced. While the monk's story spilled on, aiming at the top shelf, Antonello paged, straight faced and lazily, through the phone book as the monk eyed the bottles on the shelf reverently. After some time, the phone number was found. Before the number was dialled, the embelishments had begun, with the monk bringing fifty tourists to the restaurant tomorrow. "I should offer you a grappino [small glass of rocket fuel], then". Fervent nodding, large pour. The number was never dialled.Hearing him stutter through ever grander lies is apparently satisfing enough to deserve the occasional free glass.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:48 PM
Airports, plane, busses.
Airport security is much improved, with several layout changes. Creams, balms, salves and assorted liquids are banned on flights, though it is still possible to get duty free (delivered as you board). The waiting area is now almost completely devoid of eateries and bars, which is unfortunate.
Sitting and waiting, there was a small commotion at the x-ray machine, with several TSA officials playing 'stacks on the mill' (similar to a grid iron tackle, with more people piling on top) with someone trying to get through. Several delays and hours later, we clambered aboard the Airbus, swathed with decals of the Italian world cup team. Settling into the seats, discover that they collapse readily, making the reclining mechanism entirely superfluous. For the sake of those behind, hoping this does not occur during meals.
And extraordinarily long taxi later and we're in the air, praying the rest of the plane is rather more mechanically sound than the seats. Happily it is - and there's an excellent tail wind pushing us along. Meals, insofar as airline food goes, are excellent, and we shall be recommending them for inclusion in AbeBook's 'Best Loved Airline Meals' next edition.
The Bologna airport is still under some construction and after descending the steps wheeled up to the plane (which always feels particularly Presidential), we board the waiting bus to be ferried to the main terminal. The bus ride is rapid, though rather scenic, taking five minutes or so. Debarking, notice that we've actually taken the long way around and the plane we recently departed is, in fact, parked a scant twenty meters (sixty feet) away.
Learned not to take taxis, as they are considered a luxury transport and priced accordingly. The bus is five euros per person, and stops at the main train station in Bologna, quite close to the hotel.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:10 PM
Bologna
Bologna is the second most complete medieval city in Italy, behind only Venice (Assisi is too small to be counted). The history predates Roman arrival, originally a villanovian farming settlement, it was progressively inhabited by Etruscans, Gauls, Romans, Lombardi and finally the current inhabitants reshaped it. Most of the buildings have medieval porticoes, and indeed, the city, with 37km of them, has earned the distinction of being the most porticoed city in the world.
The main produce of the region is cured pork (a legacy of the Gauls) and amazing machines (Ducati, Lamborghini and Maserati all come from here). There are many old eateries, and some proudly displayed bans and documents from 1472 onwards licensing it as a seller of comestibles. The food, though excellent does lean heavily to pork produce and has led to clothing stores offering "taglie accomode" - "comfortable sizes". Bologna also has the oldest University, founded in 1088.
An interesting fact: All coffee shops are bars in Italy. This happy accident is a result of the licensing, enabling them to sell liquids in cup, whether coffee, tea, wine, spirits or beer.
Footpath dining is an absolute delight, as opposed to New York. Whilst the idea is the same, the noticeable difference is that they occur in alleyways with no traffic other than pedestrians and the occasional cheeky Vespa - not four lane thoroughfares.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:05 PM
Assisi - a short history
The city of Assisi has a very chequered history. The brief version runs as follows:
The area of has relics dating back to 1900 BC, though it wasn't really permanently settled until long after that. It became part of the roman empire if 89 BC, though by that time the inhabitants had assembled a 2.5km (1 2/3 mile) defensive stone wall around the town two centuries prior to that - interhilltop relations with the Perugians (four hills and a plain over) and Gubbians (three hills back) were never good (bloody skirmishes being a regular feature until quite recently). It became a christian city around the 3rd century AD after a slow start (its first bishop was apparently not popular, and was drowned in the Chiascio river in 238). After the fall of the Empire, there was incursions by Barbarians until Charlemagne waltzed through and razed the city walls (which were subsequently rebuilt) and declared it part of the Byzantine empire, which it remained until 568 when the Lombards took over. There is very little recorded from there until the 11th century, however somewhere between the 6th and 8th century, a mudslide from the Subasio mountains buried the city (some locations were dug out, others partially excavated and some simply built over. Under the main piazza, there is the previous roman town square, which is accessible through a tunnel from one of the shops).
The city's most famous inhabitant was born shortly after 1280 to a cloth and spice trader, who is reputed to have named him Francis in honour of the excellent living he made from french clothing. In 1202, Francis signed up with the military for a bit of crusading. After becoming ill and having visions of peace whilst on a tour of duty, he returned and became a doer of good deeds and founder of the order that bears his name.
The next six centuries are largely interchangeable and best summed up as: The upper and lower parts of the town beat the bejesus out of each other, occasionally interposed with someone from out of town conquering the lot of them. The foreign conquerors and rulers include the Papacy, Perugia (several times each) and Caesar Borgia. Napoleon also sacked the city in 1808 as part of his conquest of Italy, removing many treasures and artworks from the Bascillica. Assisi was finally annexed by Italy in 1860 (odd, but true - Italy became a country after forcefully dissolving the city-states and finally assembling them under one banner in 1861).
Being an old, old city, there are many a quaint and curious volume of local law. There are no lights allowed for several miles below the Bascillica (causing some consternation when building traffic islands on the road below). If you are a foreigner and purchase a house (a foreigner being someone who's family moved there anytime after the 10th century), you must plaster and paint the outer walls of your house. There are no new dwellings allowed for an even greater distance - unless you can find an ancient foundation. And even then, you must find, in the area, cut stones of the same antiquity and build only on the old foundations - and with a design suited to whatever period the foundation is from. One of the other results of these restrictive policies are the covered bridges between buildings. These are the arches above with windows connecting two edifices. Not being allowed to put any more bricks on the ground, and wanting to sell further dwellings, the medieval Assisians got creative and created and sold these houses in the air. This law was not always upheld, and there was some remodelling done by overkeen overlords, in 1860s, demolishing ancient buildings and temples to rework the streets and again in the 20s, with the construction of a neo-gothic post office (now the tourism information centre) in the Piazza. The most recent building is the institute for the Deaf, Dumb and Blind, built in 1940 in the lower part of town.
For all that, it remains largely a medieval city, where, walking around, you can spot the occasional Giotto fresco on the outer wall of a house. And the roman aqueduct is still used for the water supply.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:03 PM
September 12, 2006
Meandering about
Back from Italy and, for fear of having a blank page and an abandoned blog, I'm putting in some filler whilst I busy myself penning something semi-decent.
For those who requested a beautiful italian man as a souvineer, feel free to click on through. He's even naked.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 11:25 AM
July 10, 2006
Gooooooooaaaal!
Only one this is more fun than watching the French being defeated in some sporting endeavour. Watching it in a Frecnh bar.
A brief recap of the world cup:
6 minutes: Owner of said bar hands us a large stack serviettes so we may dry our eyes when France scores from a dubious penalty kick. Deafening applause.
19 minutes: Italy scores from a corner kick. Two people clap. 1-1.
45 minutes: We conclude that the Italy is playing a solid defence game and that France is not good at corner kicks after several uninspiring attempts.
63 minutes: Luca Toni, yet to score in the tournament, heads a goal from a penalty kick. Its ruled offside. Not entirely convinced that was a good call.
110 minutes: Zidane, to the astonishment of all, whilst the ball is not in play, headbuts someone in the chest. He did it out of sight of the ref, but was snagged as the Italians asked that the ref consult the linesman, who did see it. Several French are so appalled they applaud lightly as he gets a red card. What an incredibly stupid way to end your final match. France completes the game one man down.
Penalty shootouts: On the second kick, France hits the bar and fails to post the goal. Whilst they move the ball to the other end of the field for the next Italian shot, the serviettes are redistributed to the other tables.
People finish their drinks and quietly file out of the bar to mourn. The TV is packed away. The French flag is removed shortly after its suggested they replace the blue stripe with a green one.
When is the Tour de France?
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 10:36 AM
June 22, 2006
Posts and news
When I began this blog (after much prodding), I honestly didn't think I'd reach ten posts before I gave up. Writing was never my forte, less so writing for public consumption. Many thanks to the Warbler for insisting that I continue. This post marks two hundred entries.
Casting an uncritical eye over the archives, I've noticed a few topic that have come back into the news in recent days, so this post shall recap current news, strange and otherwise and occasionally link back where appropriate.
The Royal Society, the United Kingdom's most prestigious scientific club, has taken a swing at creationism (previous post here, saying similar things).
The statement, which the Royal Society signed on behalf of Britain's scientists, said: "Within science courses taught in certain public systems of education, scientific evidence, data, and testable theories about the origins and evolution of life on Earth are being concealed, denied, or confused with theories not testable by science."(source)
In Japan, Dr. Kunio Kitamura, director of the Japan Family Planning Association, has uncovered the root cause of the baby shortage there: "Japanese people simply aren't having sex". Could be, could be. (source)
In interplanetary news, two new moons of Pluto have been discovered and named Nix and Hydra. In a post some time back on the potential extra planets in the solar system (and other large asteroids), I'd suggested Persephone as good name for a moon of Pluto and Nix as a name for one of the bigger lumps'o'rock out there. Moderately close. (source)
Because theres golf on: Chris Tugwell of Scotland played golf for 10 years before landing his first hole-in-one. Then his second in the same round. The odds of hitting two in one game are estimated to be around 67 million to one, about the same as Australia winning the World Cup. (source)
In criminal news, Albert Fentress, the middle school teacher who confessed to killing a teenager in 1979 is asking to be released from the high-security mental ward he's lived in for the last 4 years. Fentress killed the boy after luring him into his basement, tying him to a post, sexually abusing and mutiling him, finally shooting him twice in the head before cooking and eating parts of the body. He was found not guilty after an insanity plea. He was moved to high security in 2002 after admitting to abusing two other boys. (source)
In a more Darwinian shooting story, a 28-year-old man wanted to see whether his girlfriend's Walther .22 handgun was loaded. So he put his hand in front of the barrel and pulled the trigger. It was. (source)
Thank you for reading.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 09:44 AM
June 20, 2006
A strange evening, a thousand questions.
A strange evening, a thousand questions.
Sitting at the bar, quitly sipping a second martini, enjoying the atmosphere, waiting for my wife. A woman I've been introduced to before enters with an unknown girl, I greet her. Beautiful and delicate, she sits and questions. An endless supply of questions flow from this unhappy stranger.
Do you expect anything from life? Ambitions? Do you think you deserve what you have? What would you fix of yourself? What sign are you? What are your goals?
Her boyfriend calls and the call is screened out. How did your parents treat you? Did they love you? Praise you? Admonish you? Each question tells a little more of the questioner. Abused, pushed hard as a child. Abused still, perhaps.
All men are simply after one thing. Do you beleive in anything? In god?
Avarro is not known to her. The arabic philosopher who became the stem of words such as avarice, is one I can identify with. I believe I have a soul and carry a small part of all those before me. I believe this is extinguished with my last breath. No god, no afterlife, no angelic choir, no eternal flame. A disenchanting answer, my simple faith.
All men are bad, they take advantage.
A statement, so I ask a question: Why do you allow them to be, while you entertain their lies? No answers are forthcoming.
Yes, I am happily married.
No, I did not move here on business. I put my life in a suitcase and moved around world for her. The single best decision I've made in my life.
Not all men are bastards.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 06:49 PM
April 19, 2006
Now playing....
Killing time until the weekly installment Webkittyn on MangoRadio, I thought I'd put up one of my favourite playlists. Yes, its mostly new wave retro electroclash alternative stuff.
Please feel free to let me know what classics I missed.
| Out of the Rain | Clan Of Xymox |
| Mad World | Tears for Fears |
| To Life, to Love | Andy Hunter |
| Life In Tokyo | Japan |
| 99 Luftballons (German) | Nina |
| Da Da Da I Don't Love You You Don't Love Me Aha Aha Aha | Trio |
| Tainted Love | Soft Cell |
| What I Like About You | The Romantics |
| Sunday Bloody Sunday | U2 |
| Video Killed the Radio Star | The Buggles |
| Fashionist (Original Electro Class) | Waldorf |
| Pictures of You | The Cure |
| Safety Dance | Men Without Hats |
| Upstairs | Gene Loves Jezebel |
| I'm Done (Original Radio Edit) | King Brain presents N.I.C. |
| Restless | Mount Sims |
| Friday I'm In Love | The Cure |
| Everything Counts | Depeche Mode |
| Wishing (If I Had a Photograph of You) | A Flock of Seagulls |
| Radio | Client |
| Bullet The Blue Sky | U2 |
| Power and the Passion | Midnight Oil |
| Original Sin | INXS |
| Istanbul | They Might Be Giants |
| Dog Eat Dog | Adam & the Ants |
| Cars | Gary Numan |
| Glitterball | FC Kahuna |
| We're Only Science | Dot Allison |
| Dancing With Myself | Billy Idol |
| Sweet Dreams | Eurithmics |
| Blue Monday | New Order |
| Rebellion (Lies) | Arcade Fire |
| Kelly Watch the Stars | Air |
| She Blinded Me With Science | Thomas Dolby |
| Fade to Grey | Visage |
| Destination Unknown | Missing Persons |
| No More Words | Berlin |
| Oh Yeah | Yello |
| Every Day Is Halloween | Ministry |
| Hanging On the Telephone | Blondie |
| Obsession | Animotion |
| People Are People | Depeche Mode |
| Burning Down the House | Talking Heads |
| Banquet | Bloc Party |
| Under Pressure | David Bowie & Queen |
| I Melt with You | Modern English |
| Centerfold | J. Geils Band |
| You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record) | Dead or Alive |
| Planet Dada (Northern Light Mix) | Yello |
| Whip it | Devo |
| I Ran | A Flock of Seagulls |
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 09:08 PM
April 18, 2006
Sofa King Naughty
(via email) It took me a read or two to realise what it was saying...
Update:
Aparently this is the old add (which aparently ran for some time), and they got away with it completely... The new add (Sofa King good) didn't quite get past the Advertising Authority and was canned.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 01:45 PM
April 12, 2006
Updated Texas hunting regulations
(received via email)
As a result of the shooting incident in South Texas, when a lawyer was shot by the Vice President, a new set of hunting regulations regarding the Taking and Harvesting of Attorneys will be enforced by the Texas Parks & Wildlife Commission.
Attorney Hunting Regulations. (Regulation 370)
Sec 370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.
Sec 370.02 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap, bag, shoot or possess same.
Sec 370.03 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.
Sec 370.04 Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies and vermin.
Sec 370.05 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the road side and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.
Sec 370.06 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.
Sec 370.07 It is unlawful to shout, “WHIPLASH,” “AMBULANCE,” or “FREE SCOTCH” for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
Sec 370.08 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships except on Wednesday afternoons.
Sec 370.09 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels, except on Saturdays and Sundays.
Sec 370.10 Use of any type killing device is legal including shotguns with the choke removed, high powered rifles, handguns of any caliber, all types and kinds of game traps and snares. Poisoning, however, is prohibited because of the danger to rattlesnakes, coyotes and skunks.
Sec 370.11 It is unlawful to wear a disguise such as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
Bag and Possession Limits, per day:
Yellow-bellied sidewinders - 2
Two-faced tortfeasors - 1
Back-stabbing divorce litigators - 3
Horn-rimmed cut-throats - 2
Minutiae-advocating dirtbags - 4
NOTE: Honest attorneys are protected under the Endangered Species Act. Honest attorneys can be identified by their drab plumage, as they do not wear Rolex watches, drive Porsches, BMWs or other expensive luxury automobiles, or wear $500 shoes or $1500 suits.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:19 PM
March 09, 2006
I'm having thoughts.
What happens when you find online retailers like these and combine the two?
CO2 laser and Sharks on demand, a mail order facility for several breeds of aggressive shark.
I think we can retire the mutant sea bass.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 10:57 AM
March 06, 2006
Trackback pings
I admit it. I'm no more than a casual blogger. I like technology. But I don't know what a trackback is, nor how to send a 'ping' to it. Webkittyn has just declared open season on them, so I'm trying one to see what happens.
Ping!
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 08:01 PM
October 12, 2005
23 post, 5th sentence.
I have been tagged by Utopia.
The rules:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas…
5. Tag five people to do the same.
It seems everyone I know has been tagged already. This perhaps indicates I don't get out enough. So I shall simply put out an open call: If you'd like to be tagged, consider yourself tagged.
From the 23rd post:
According to people who are there, England's response is typically stoic, greeting these events with resolve.
The post was on the London train and bus bombings. I recall not being terribly surprised at that reaction, having a grandmother who lived and worked in London in 1944 during the 'Little Blitz' (the age of V1 and V2 rockets). No hidden meanings or agendas. Simply the english getting on with things that needed to be done.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 03:07 PM
September 14, 2005
I know I said I was an atheist.
But, damnit, I may just have to convert.
Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action.
I was touched by his noodly appendage!
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 05:01 PM
September 13, 2005
It's a big ad!
Carlton Draught is one of the many beers in Australia that we prefer to Fosters.
Fosters is not Australian for beer. Fosters is Australian for an average product with good marketing. And for the US market, it is manufactured in Canada by Molson. This makes it a little better than the version in Australia and allows them to stamp "IMPORTED" in big letters near the kangaroo logos (and made in Canada in really small print).
Instructions for watching the ad:
Have speakers
Do not have liquids in your mouth unless your keyboard and monitor are waterproofed
Click the link.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 10:03 AM
September 09, 2005
Photoshop practice.
If you send me a photo of yourself flipping me the bird, you know it's going to be filed in the "practice photoshop with this one" folder.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 02:04 PM
Its like ping pong. But with Ninjas and John Woo directing.
Its been a depressing few weeks. So in the interests of lightening the mood, I present you with a link to "Ninja Ping Pong".
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 12:15 PM
August 10, 2005
Thank you. I'll take two.
If you like old films (and I do mean old), I have some good news. Many are now public domain. And they are freely available on the Internet Archive. Nosferatu, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Gollem (I did say old) and the original Night of the Living Dead. Of course it's not all horror, but that's where I'm starting.
There are 545 there at the moment. Get 'em while they last.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 05:07 PM
August 04, 2005
Between Google and eBay, you can get anything.
I was wondering about the Cassini spacecraft, launched in 1997, with much ado about it's three nuclear RTG power sources (radio isotope generators, containing between them 72 pounds of 238-Pu).
It's currently fairly close to Saturn's moon Titan, with the next flyby on the 22nd, as best as I can work it out, at around 4:52am.
What has this got to do with eBay and Google? Not much, until, curious about how long 72 pounds of fuel would last, I googled plutonium.
It was an advertisement too strange not to click. The closest thing they had was a detector that would show how many grams of fissile material you had on your hands and some Revlon lip gloss of the same name. Strange marketing idea, really. How many people want to smear something called plutonium on their lips? Or maybe that works for some people.
[The continued entry is just plain geeky and about atomic decay rates and approximate operational time of Cassini]
With a half life of about 85 years, the power produced from a lump of 238-Pu decays at 1-(.5)^(1/85), or about .81% per year. But it's not when it all decays, it's what power threshhold Cassini will stop working on. Eight years after lauch, the RTGs that originally provided 850 watts would now be kicking out closer to 796.5 watts [arrived at via 850-(.9919^8)]
Cassini specs mandate 600-700 watts as minimuim, this threshold should be crossed around the 43rd year of operation, so there should be another 35 years left in it.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 10:39 AM
July 29, 2005
Sensibilities
If I'm watching television, it's a safe bet it's either science, surgery, natural history or crime.
So, I sit here, flipping idly and chance on Dr 90210, during surgery.
Where they have a middle to older aged lady having some work done. She's been opened up below the belly button for a tummy tuck. Very opened. I can see the stomach muscles, exposed for the world to see. They lift up the skin between there and the breasts with a giant spatula. I can now see the flayed skin lift away, and she is essentially skinned from groin to armpits as they insert the silicone boobs. They even, thoughtfully, provide an arthroscope for a better interior view.
And they fuzz out the nipples. This is something I never quite understood. I have nipples. Barring some horrible trauma, I bet you do too. I do not find them inherently offensive. I'm certainly not going to find them arousing at this point.
Why the fuzz?
Nipples are evil and they must be scoured from viewing? I just don't get it.
Any enlightenment is welcomed.
Or is it just that Australia got the criminals and the US got the puritans?
And later, in the selfsame show, they do a 'lollypop' boob reduction. Unsurprisingly, it's not sucking on them until they reduce - it's where they cut around the nipple, removing it from the flesh, leaving it attached by some nerves, then cut out a large triangular wedge of flesh below the breast, cut a new hole further up for the nipple, poke it through and stitch it in there and join the edges where the triangle was. A smaller, perkier breast, with the nipple in a new but apparently more aesthetically pleasing location. And they fuzz out that one too, even though it's the central focus of this surgery.
I must be missing something.
Scrawled illegibly by Meathe at 09:34 PM