June 12, 2005
A stray cats life is a hard one...
I've done it. My diabolical plan has worked! I have successfully implanted myself within. Such cunning, such guile....such unequivecable cuteness!
I remember how it started... I remember the past as if it were only yesterday. I remember those strange pink apes who took that incorrigibly fluffy thing away with them and left me. ME! How dare they?
I remember the hardship. I remember how night after night I would sit outside the window of what I thought was my home and wonder why they never would open the door? Why wouldn't the lights go on? Why wouldn't someone open the door and FEED me??
Ok... So I would sit for days, months even, singing my sweet lullaby to the window of my home... Yet no one would answer. On occasion, one of the pinks would come out from the other compartments of the dwelling and look at me. I didn't know them so I thought retreat was smarter at the time. On occasion the big brown one would come out. I didn't know what they wanted. They attempted to make sounds at me, but I don't understand their language.
It was rough for awhile as I began to realize my hairless apes were not returning. It was getting colder outside. Over time, the apes would leave me plates of yummy things...only on occasion those horrid possums or raccoons would try to fight me for it. I'm really not up to dealing with the raccoons. They travel in packs and are often twice my size or more. Vile things they are. Sometimes the apes make sounds or spray these monsters with some sort of streaming liquid out of a window. Must've been water because it has no smell.
So over time, I the apes would attempt to talk to me. Like I could understand them. Eventually I began to realize that sitting outside in freezing weather and trying to catch mice for food was not fun. They were kind enough to make me a warm bed from some black box and a pillow and some sort of soft fuzzy cloth. That was nice of them. They even tried to block the terribly chilling wind with another fuzzy cloth. I began to think I was being stubborn and perhaps I should befriend them. I mean, they never tried to hurt me, so why not? It's evident my people aren't coming back... So why not get some new ones?
In time, I was petted, fed and hugged. I began to like this existence. This was becoming pleasant. The brown one let me sleep in his bed by letting me in through the window. I don't know why... I think it has to do with the OTHER cat in the house. I've no interest in him. I just need simple things: food, pets and a soft place to sleep. The brown one is big and his stomach is soft and squishy to lay in. He's nice to me. He hugs me in his huge arms, scritches me and smiles allot so I guess he likes me. I like this place now...
....now, just HOW do I get rid of that OTHER cat? Hmmmmmmm. My plot to RULE this house begins!
Posted by Bey at June 12, 2005 08:51 PM
Comments
I feel for your plight in ridding your domain of the unwanted encursion of the second feline. I myself wages a long term and never ending battle against a second beastly cat. It is a war of territorial claims where your every want must be fought over. I had the old geezer completely evicted from the upstairs of the whole of the house. Woe be unto her hateful self if she even considered touching a single stair.
Posted by: Sierra at June 29, 2005 02:21 PM